Episode 34: Where in the World Should You Get Married?

Episode Summary

Where in the world should you get married? Friends, that question is about much more than a beautiful venue. In this episode, I’m sharing how we research destinations and what planning across countries and U.S. regions has taught me about communication, expectations, and trust. We’re talking about working with local partners, understanding different approaches to the planning process, and finding a place that fits the way you and your family like to make decisions. The goal is a gorgeous wedding, of course, but I also want you to enjoy the journey getting there.

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julianleaver.com | @julianleaver

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Full Episode Transcript

Welcome back to Mind Over Matrimony. It's one of those days where we have all the beverages here, present. And so we're caffeinating in all the ways, hot and cold, because it's the fall, friends, and we're in the thick of it.

And what I think is interesting is that we're in the thick of it, obviously in wedding planning, but then we're also in the thick of it of choosing where everyone is going to get married next year. Everybody is in this space, right?

We have been doing so many fun research projects, looking at a million different locations for people for next year. And they're starting to land, which I'm so excited, right? Where we're landing one in Cabo, we're landing one in San Miguel, where it looks like we're about to land another one in Spain. We've just got some really fun projects coming up.

And, but we've been looking at all of these destinations and talking about destinations and seeing destinations. And I think that's one of the most fun things that comes with having been doing this for so long for me is that very rarely have I not been to a place that we are looking at.

I've been to almost all of them, which is wild, but there's such a huge benefit to that because there are little tiny pitfalls and things that you have to think about in each destination that are so specific to what is happening in each of those.

And when you're looking at lots of different locations, right? I think nobody comes to us and says, I am just looking in Mexico, right? They come to us and they say, where in the world should we get married? And so we're gonna look in France, we're gonna look in Mexico, we're gonna look at all of the United States, we're gonna look in Italy, we're gonna look in all of these different places and each of those places has different peculiarities.

And I was just in Paris and they were saying, how do you like working with the French people? And I said, I love working with the French people because French people are very particular, right? They have a very particular way of doing things and they are very precise about the way that they do things and they care deeply, right? The most important thing about interacting with the French vendor is that they care very deeply about their craft.

And so what I love about that is that we also care deeply. And so when you can get to a place of caring deeply together, then you can easily find a path forward because you both care so much about the outcome. And so I love that. That's an easy particular thing about the French, right?

And then there's this whole idea about the Italians, right? And with the Italians, it's about the experience and like, how is everything gonna feel? And they're way less worried about answering your email, right? They're not at all worried about that. They don't care. But if you get on the phone with them or you get on to Google Meet with them and you're having a connection with them and then you're talking and we're talking about food and we're talking about how it's gonna feel and all these things. And if you can connect in that way, then it's like, oh, great, it's like the unlock, right? And then they'll get to the email, right? We'll get there. It's not a big deal.

And then there's the Spanish, right? And I would say in Spain, it's just about helping them understand expectations, right? They're excited to do something. They're so excited that you called. They're so excited to work with you, but they have no idea how to do it, right? Because they haven't done it before. And so we're asking for things that maybe they have no experience with. And so it's great because our team is built with all these different components and different people who have lots of different experiences and come from different backgrounds so we can explain to them like, okay, this is how we wanna do it on the production side. And this is how we really have an expectation on the food and beverage side. And they're so open and so willing and so honest and so earnest, I think. The Spanish are so earnest. They're so excited to have had someone call to be a part with them.

And then in Mexico, it is about like how it's almost about being a local in Mexico, right? It's about building trust. Because in Mexico, it's so much about family and about loyalty and about tradition.

And so if you can build the trust with that and that you have someone who you work with as a partner on the ground, which we do, which is magical. We have a partner in Cabo who helps us with all the things because we need a local person because Mexicans really trust having a local be there with them. So we have someone in Mexico City who does this with us and we have someone in Cabo. And it's about that loyalty and building that trust and really truly doing what you said you were going to do, right? If you follow through, they believe in an action. And if you can do that, then you're in great shape.

And so it's about navigating each of these little places, right?

And what I find fascinating too about the United States is that we in the US, we think of ourselves as we are the United States, right? But really, we are like all these different regions, okay?

And so you're dealing with each region that you're in a different way. You're dealing with the Northeast in one way. You're dealing with the South in one way. You're dealing with Texas in a different way than you're dealing with the South. I think people who are not from the South don't really understand that Texas is its own entity and then there's the South, right? And those two things operate in different ways. Then the Midwest has its own way of operating. Colorado kind of stands on its own. And then there's California and the Northwest.

And so you have to put yourself in this mentality of who am I dealing with and how am I communicating with them and how am I gonna get the best results? And each of those regions, it changes, right? And the expectations change for each of those regions.

So I would say the Northeast, as we all know, it's just direct. This is it, moving on, no fluff. Let's get it done. Also send one email with all the information, okay? They do not want multiple emails. They will not respond to them. One, one and done. Let's get it done. Let's plan it. Moving on.

The South, we love to have a conversation. Shocking, shocking the people from the South love to have a chat, right? I would say, and that is like the South, like Georgia, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida and the Carolinas. That's more about, let's have a conversation. Let's build a relationship. Let's like build some trust. And we're gonna get to a place where we can trust each other and that you're gonna prove to me that you know what you're doing.

And there is also, I think in the South, a little bit more, there is a little bit more trust. I would say the Northeast is a little bit more skeptical, right? Who are you? Have I worked with you? I don't know. I'm still on the fence. And then once you work together and you gain that trust and then that trust never is broken, right? The Northeast is very loyal. The South is also very loyal.

I would say Texas is a different animal because Texans know how to entertain because Texans entertain all the time. Most places in the United States do not entertain as much as Texans. And so a good Texas client knows all the vendors we're going to already because they used them last week for a party for 300 people. And they're like, yeah, we're gonna call that one and then that one because that's what we do. We need you to not help me facilitate so much who to use but more what's it going to look like and what is it going to feel like and help me with these overall larger concepts, right?

And then Colorado is an interesting market because really in Colorado, the whole state of Colorado is one market, which is the most interesting thing about that state. And so there you have to expand your horizons if you're going to do an event in Colorado because all of your stuff is going to come from all over the place, right? You can't go to Aspen and only use Aspen vendors. You can't go to Vail and only use Vail vendors that doesn't exist.

They're going to come from Grand Junction. They're going to come from Eagle. They're going to come from Denver. They're going to come from Colorado Springs and everybody is all spread out and they drive all the time. Coloradans think nothing about driving three and a half hours. So they're like, yeah, I'm going to go to this meeting. It's three and a half hours away.

Someone from Texas would lose their mind if that if they were we were told we'd have to drive three and a half hours for an hour meeting, but they do it freely. And that's just how it works. And so everybody has that expectation and everybody's just moving around the state all the time. You just jump on a truck and off you go.

And then California is obviously very different. It's a massive state like the state of Texas, right? So you've got the Northern California mentality and you've got the Southern California mentality. And those are two very different things, right? The Napa region and then LA, Orange County, Montecito, Santa Barbara. And I would say those are kind of the two major regions.

And there, it's more matter of fact. And I would say it's also, there are just so many people who want to get married there. It is very—it's just an efficient process. It's either yes or no very quickly, right? It's available or it's not. It's available or it's not. It's available or it's not. It's available or it's not. And you better plan ahead.

We have all of these different regions. And what I think is fun is that we've worked in all these different regions. So I know exactly what we're looking at in each of those places.

And so when we're searching, we're asking a lot of questions about your own mentality and how you like to receive information. Because I can plan you a wedding in any of these places and it's all going to be gorgeous. But where are you going to enjoy the process the most? That is truly dependent on any of these mentalities. And what you and your fiance want to see and expect. And then also what your parents want to expect and all the different stakeholders.

So it's really a fun process to do this research and look all over the world and talk to all of these people and bring it back to you and then see how you react to that research.

We're just having a freaking blast doing that. I find it to be like the most interesting kind of psychology experiment ever. My second career psychologist.

So thank you guys for coming. Let's—give us a call. Let's go search and see where you'd like to get married. And just know we are going to help you land in the right spot with the right mentality that's going to get you the best result.

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