Episode 32: Adapting Communication Styles For Our Clients

Episode Summary

Every client communicates and makes decisions differently, friends, and that means our planning process needs to be flexible too. In this episode, I’m talking about the overwhelm that comes with endless wedding inspiration and how our team breaks design decisions into manageable pieces. We’ll explore learning styles, timelines, and the ways we adapt communication for couples and their families. I’m also sharing a recent design moment that surprised us, and why experimenting, listening, and changing the recipe can lead to something special. I’d love your feedback on how you like to communicate throughout the process.

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julianleaver.com | @julianleaver

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Full Episode Transcript

Hi friends, welcome to Mind Over Matrimony. And today I think we're really just gonna talk a little bit about how we're all working together, how we are responding to you as the client and what you need and how our process has shifted and adapted and moved to what that may be and maybe it's about your communication style, maybe it's about how you learn, are you a visual learner, are you more of an auditory learner, where do you sit in the classroom? And also how willing are you to work through different ideas and baking those ideas and then eating them and then giving critique and feedback and then getting to this most perfect version. Every client is so different right now.

That that's the interesting thing is that every client at the moment seems like they're in the different headspace, right? Some clients are in a headspace where they are super clear and they're super organized and they know exactly what they want and they know exactly how it looks. And then some clients are like, it could be and it could be and it could be and it could be and it could be and it could be and it could be and it could be. And I think that's just like, what algorithm are you being fed? Interestingly, are you being fed like the cute puppy and like cat algorithm or are you being fed the like, if you don't do this for your wedding, you are going to die algorithm. It isn't like you don't need a wedding planner.

It really is just an obscene amount of options that just keep getting fed to you. And then I think what I think is really difficult for clients right now is that they don't actually know how to discern what's up and what's down and what's good and what's not. It's not even about taste. It's more about steps in the process. Okay, if let's take like photo booths, okay? Like a very weird like super crazy nuanced thing. This photo booth has a 10 by 10 footprint and this photo booth has a three by five footprint and this photo booth has a six by seven footprint and where do you want to put it in the space doesn't exactly fit that footprint. Then okay, we have to put it over here then. But I don't like that as the client to put it over there.

So we have to come up with some other way to disguise this. And then now the photo booth is more expensive than the photo booth really should be because there's weird logistical nuanced things about putting the photo booth in a certain place. And then all of a sudden now that you've said the word photo booth, you're now being fed like 900 photo booths and so you really can't make a decision. And so then it paralyzes you. Whereas we've shown you three photo booths that we feel like really work or actually we showed you this really cool Polaroid thing that doesn't even require a footprint of a photo booth. Right? And so I think there's this just, it's just a massive overwhelm of options. People are over-fucking-whelmed. And then some people are not at all.

And that is an interesting thing to me too. And I think for us, we're just working through who's where in the process and how are we thinking about the process? And then how do we get everybody back on the same track? And that right now has just been for us, the way that we're doing that right now is we have a constant touch base. We just do. We have a constant bi-monthly touch base. And that has been the thing that has allowed us to actually make decisions in digestible sizes. Which is actually pretty cool. We've taken the design process and really broken it up until this is the meeting about the floor plan. We're not talking about the colors. We're not talking about the plates. We're not talking about literally anything but the floor plan. Now we're gonna talk about chairs.

Now we're gonna talk about tabletop and what does that look like for you? Whereas before, I think we were doing, here's the entire design deck, which actually worked really well. I will tell you, there is this interesting balance. And I think we're playing around with it and honestly clients, if you're listening, we'd love your feedback, right? Do you like it? Bite size, sizable decisions that then end up in a certain solution or do you like, we're gonna present you this 55 page deck and we're gonna go through it line by line. And by page 55, you're like, I don't actually care about any of these decisions anymore. I picked the chair on three. Could you please just duplicate that look through the whole thing? I don't know.

And we've been doing it both ways just to try it out and see what works best. Because some people work better in this one way and some people work better in this other way. And I think that's the thing we're trying to figure out what are the clues? What are the things that people are telling you that help you know which of these processes to follow? Because everybody's a little bit different. And I also think the engagement periods are all over the freaking place right now, right? So you could be getting married in six months or you could be getting married next December, right? And we have both of those scenarios at the same time. So we're like, okay, with the one that's getting married in six months, like we have to have all these conversations right now. Okay, cool, great.

We can have them, we'll get it done, not a problem. But for the one that's getting married in a year, okay, we can just talk about the floor plan. We can just talk about the chairs. We can just talk about these pieces of the puzzle. So I think that's been very interesting. And it's something that we're all figuring out. I think all the vendors are figuring it out at the same time and also the clients are figuring it out because they either wanna get married like very quickly or they wanna wait a little bit of time. Both things happening all at the same time. So that's why this bi-monthly meeting has actually helped because we can use it for whatever we need it for based on where you are at in this process and how you best learn, right?

It's like going to school because there's the ADHD kids and then there's the not ADHD kids. That's a good example to use. Not that one way of these learning processes is ADHD just to say there's different types of kids. Then there's also the poor kid who hasn't like whose parents can't afford glasses, right? And so got sat in the back of the room but actually can't see the board. And so they just move this poor kid to the front of the classroom, they could see. You get a totally different result. Maybe the test results are totally different if you're sitting in the front of the classroom versus sitting in the back of the classroom. Where do you need to sit on the bus? It's more like they can't wrap their head around something. They learn in a different way.

Everybody is learning in a different way. And so we as the teachers have to teach it in a different way and we're trying to figure it that all out right now. I don't think that there's a prescribed way of doing it. And I do think that the massive amount of information that's out there is not helping with figuring out how to learn best. Our process, it is changing, right? Like it has changed. I would say like it's always changing, right? Like for example, we've been changing the process. This is like the tinkering, right? Like I'm always talking about is it working? Okay, no, it's not working. So let's change this way of figuring it out so that there's less of a bottleneck in some way. And I think like that process is about to change for us in the stationery process.

And when the design comes into the stationery and like, I think we've always used stationery previously as a keystone, always, always it was a keystone. It can't actually be a keystone anymore because people are so visual. They can't see how this then translates into something else. It's interesting. Yeah, because they don't know what it looks like. We could say that, but it's harder to see all of a sudden. And I think it's harder to see really because there is a plethora of options. It could go so many different directions. It's been a cool, interesting process of learning this. And I'm not really sure exactly what's happened. The only thing I can pinpoint is that it's just so much information. And also just the world is swirling.

And like, when everything is swirling around and nobody has their feet on the ground and like, you're experiencing like all these different emotions and also trying to work through the wedding emotions, it gets complicated. And you get a little lost in it. It's impossible to not get lost in it. And I think, like even on the vendor side, right? Like, even on the vendor side, we literally just send an email to every single vendor that we work with that says this is who you contact on our team if you need X, just to make it very clear. We're like, this is who you contact. And if you have a question about this, then this is who you contact, right? And I think because people said we got some feedback that said we don't know exactly who to email. I'm like, okay, this is who you email.

And this is the way that you do it. And you can even copy all of us and someone will answer you always, really frankly. So it's been very interesting to always be learning. And that's the tinkering piece. It's not fitting everyone into our specific set process. I think the name of the game here, honestly, is flexibility. Like, how to keep your business nimble enough to respond to whatever way people are learning, right? It's like, it's a good example of this is if you're a catering manager, catering managers know exactly what I'm talking about because catering managers are having five separate conversations every single time they try to make a sale. They're having a different conversation with the mom and the bride and the dad and maybe the other bride or the groom or the two grooms.

But each conversation is different. And different people care about different things. And so they're always like bobbing and weaving a little bit. The product itself is not actually changing, but the way that you're delivering the answer about the product is changing. And that's what it feels like right now, whereas it didn't feel that way, I don't know, maybe a year ago, maybe we've been doing this really a year and I'm just like, this is the episode where we're like identifying this. Yeah, it's probably been about a year. And again, I really think it gives back to choices and how many things are out there and how weddings just keep getting bigger and bigger and more experiences and more of these things and more layers and layers. It's not what it used to be. And it's cool.

And I think for me and like the JLE team, like having each person in their right seat has allowed us to adapt to this, which has been cool because we've bobbed and weaved it. Okay, cool, we get over here, we're gonna go over here. Okay, this one thinks this in a totally different way. This client is like, needs things presented in this other way. So okay, cool, we're all gonna shift and do it that way. And then over here, we're shifting and doing it this way. And that's been kind of cool to watch. And I think has actually bonded the team overall in a cool way because everyone is learning the nuances of each client and then you see another recognizable trait in another client and you're like, oh, I know exactly how to do that. Okay, cool. They need it this way and boom, here we go.

So that's been kind of cool and different. But that's 100% a shift. It's not like we're doing this things the same way every single time anymore. The overarching system is actually still in place, right? Because the ball is still moving forward. And that's what I think I've made peace with is like, if the ball is still moving forward, it doesn't matter how the ball is being made. That's not my deal. That's your deal as a client. You get to dictate that because you learn in a different way. You need information presented in a different way. You need to see it in a different way. And so that's cool. Whatever way you need to see it, then let's do it that way. And for all of us to be like in this learning mode and shifting and doing all these things, I think that's actually really cool.

And it's actually made me in a weird way happier about it because I do feel like I'm learning. And in a year 10 of a business, that's pretty wild. I get to still learn like this on the job that things are changing so much. That's kind of cool. Like from the clients, we do talk about communication style, but I would say most people don't actually know. They don't know because they're only used to working in the style of what their actual job is. So that's very interesting, actually. I think communication styles, you're uncovering that and we're uncovering that. You're uncovering it, we're uncovering it. You don't really know again. What I will always go back to again and again is this is the first time you're doing a group project with your whole family.

So you don't actually know how anyone likes to communicate. And we're learning it in real time with you. And then when in that synergy, like when it locks in and you're like, oh, here we go. And everybody then gets on the same page and moves forward. That's the cool sauce, right? It's like, oh, they like it this way. Cool, okay, boom, done. But sometimes that takes a little bit of time. And that's why we've been starting all the processes sooner in the process, like design and floor plan and doing it all kind of front-loaded more because people really want to know. They want to know. And I think that's the beauty of the system that we built at JLE that already was in place is the transparency piece of things.

And so because we already are so transparent with the budget and the contracts and all of that stuff, that's like, that is not a hurdle we're jumping over, right? We're literally just jumping over the hurdle of like, how do you want to be communicated to? Do you like text? Do you like email? Do you like just in the portal system, right? What is your preferred method? And then we kind of go from there. So it's interesting because I think also all of us, the clients included, are figuring out what is the boundary, right? Like where are the boundaries on all of this? But what I do is that now there is enough team to be able to allow everybody to be in their different buckets. And then there's not overwhelm on our side and not overwhelm on the client side either.

Because it's like, okay, once we figure out your communication style, it's like, okay, cool. We got you, we're locked in. Let's do it. There's type A's and type B's. But that's the thing. It's like, no client relationship is like gonna be the same every single time. You have a different combination of people every single time. Parents are one way, couples another way. Maybe there's like a sister or a brother involved. And so you, there's A's and B's and I don't know, maybe there's a C type too. I don't really know what that type is. But that's the weird interesting part about like the group project is like, we're all doing it together. It's not just you family, right? We're in the group project too.

Like in the driver's seat of the group project, but we're also participating in the group project. So it's a fascinating thing. And then we're adding on all these layers of vendors who all communicate in different ways. And that's a beauty I think of the system we have right now, is that we've channeled that communication into our system to then make it digestible for the client. That's the beauty and that's the secret of I think each planner's difference, right? Is like how they're doing that? That's what actually differentiates us is like, how are you channeling the information? At a certain level, it could be very different. And also that's where it may or may not be a good fit. Oh, cool. Like you need communication in this certain way.

Maybe we're not the best at that or maybe that's not the way that we do it in some way. I think we've been able to adapt to almost every single different type of communication. But I don't know. Like maybe there is a personality test we have people take. But I feel like that's a little invasive. I don't know, tell us in the comments friends. Okay. If you're a client, let's just ask. Cause we don't do like that. Kind of a personality test or, like a Myers-Briggs, right? Maybe we should be. And maybe we should be able to tell you, like we are all this way. We communicate with like X, Y, and Z in the best way. I don't know. We'll adapt no matter what, but tell me. I would love that feedback. Would you be open to taking a personality test? I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Here we go.

Now we all take this test about how do we like to communicate? Okay. So I'm going to build a personality test that asks you, I don't even think it's a personality test. I think it's more about like communication test. We're going to go build that and we're going to deploy it. And then we are going to report back more to come. You're not going to stop looking at Pinterest. You want to know what's out there and what's cool and what's different. And I'm okay with that because also I think the trends and what is cool and what is different is are changing very fast. It's very rapid. And I think also the sad thing. When you're getting married, usually you're in this wedding circuit. So all of these other people are getting married too. So you're getting instant feedback.

You're getting instant feedback of this really worked or this really didn't work or wow, that was horrific. Or this was the coolest thing I've ever done. And this is the coolest experience. Can we create something like this at our wedding? And it's funny because we are challenging ourselves always on that, right? We had a call to review a design yesterday or the day before. And I looked at it and I was like, something is just not quite there. But I don't know what it is that's not quite there. And it could get there, it needs a wow. I was like, what is, where's the moment here? It's beautiful, it's gorgeous. It's everything that she wanted. But what is the wow? And we just left it. We were like, I actually don't know what the wow is. Let's hear her feedback on it.

And literally one of the slides had this baller dark drape on it. And we had kind of made that slide like a throwaway slide. She's never going to pick this because it's just too avant-garde, right? And then she saw that slide and she was like, that's it. That's exactly what we need to do. And we were like, yeah, holy moly, but that's not exactly what you had shown us, right? And so sometimes the wow is there already. You just have to show all the options and see where everyone gets to. And then we change all the slides in real time with her. And it was like, oh, this is sick. This is a totally different thing that's never been done. And it's so cool. Who knows? Sometimes you just don't know where the chips will fall. How many choices you should actually present.

And that's why the process is hard, right? And that's why I think there is also this overwhelm of information because you don't really want to stop looking for the thing that could push it. And that's part of what keeps this all interesting, right? But it is also part of there's two very different types of weddings, I think. There's a wedding that's baked in the first six months or in the first quarter of the process. And then there's the wedding that's continuously baked and changed. And the recipe got so much better because at the end of it, we've experimented with it. We've tried it on. We've, ooh, that cupcake was shit, right? We got to change this thing up. Or if we change the icing in this other cool way, it's going to be something totally different.

And I think that's actually how we keep moving everything forward. And each wedding is better than the last wedding, is that we just keep changing the formula. And we keep changing the recipe. And that's cool. I don't know. That's just different. And I think that's the client who comes to us because they want to experiment and change the recipe and see what it looks like. And also bake it, eat it, critique it, and then change it. It's been fascinating. We're just learning. It's been all about learning.

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