Episode 13: The Wedding Industry’s Transparency Problem, Unpacked

Episode Summary

This one is a bit of a rant, friends. You saw it on Instagram. It looked doable. Then you get the quote and it feels like a giant disconnect. This week, we are pulling back the curtain on one of the wedding industry’s most persistent problems — the gap between what you see online and what things actually cost. No clean solutions, just an honest conversation about confidentiality, commissions, comparison culture, and why it’s time we all just… said the thing.

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julianleaver.com | @julianleaver

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Full Episode Transcript

Hi friends and welcome back to Mind Over Matrimony. Today’s gonna be a little fiery because I just think that there is a kind of a conversation happening within a greater wedding client ecosystem that needs to be addressed. And it’s time for us to just rip off the bandaid and get real with each other.

I think there are just too many choices because Instagram has done this—we as an industry have perpetuated the situation whereby everything is out there and so because everything is out there, they can see it all. They can see all the choices without any context.

Like for example, Eden Rock in St. Bart’s. It’s a beautiful hotel. There’s lots of beautiful, fabulous weddings posted there. But that specific situation that you’re seeing on Instagram is only possible if you have a $2 million buyout just for the property and the rooms—and there’s only 46 rooms. But that’s all you see online. So then you think that is possible and doable in your budget and then when you’re told no, your heart is crushed and it feels like you’ve been duped.

We are in this kind of perpetual cycle where which comes first, the chicken or the egg, and no one is helping with this situation unless you’re being really truly honest with your clients about what things cost.

A marriage is what we are all entitled to. That should be a human right. Access to marriage. A wedding is a totally different ballgame and every wedding looks different. So that’s not something we’re all entitled to unfortunately. Because weddings look different and weddings cost a lot of dollars.

I think the bigger problem too is that there’s no actual standardization in this. Every person operates in their own little way. There’s not a training manual that we’re all operating from. We’re not all members of the American Institute of Architects.

Any planner with good taste can create a beautiful wedding that looks good on Instagram. But what do the systems look like to get you to that place? That is where the difference is. Do you have a transparent system? Are you taking a commission from the vendor? Are you being a good advocate for the client?

We’re also in this environment where AI is playing a huge role in the research from the client side. Now where AI is not gonna be your best friend is that a lot of the information in terms of budgeting or minimums or pricing that’s out there on the internet is maybe starting pricing. Maybe it’s only been refreshed once in the last five years.

A wedding is a piece of art. It’s something that only lives for 24 hours basically. Really, truly, it only lasts for six to eight hours. It’s a true piece of art and it’s something that you’re choosing to commission.

I honestly think it’s actually a really good thing that’s happening. I think a lot of people are afraid of this conversation. I think we should talk about it. What do things actually cost? Let’s be real about it.

We’re in the messy middle friends, and we just gotta ride this wave and listen to each other because we’re all talking now out loud, in the open, in a larger conversation. So let’s just have it, let’s just get through it. Let’s use the tools that we all have. All of us are in therapy. Okay, let’s use our tools.

A The Media Socialites Production